In Depth With Steph Gaudreau of Stupid Easy Paleo
Steph Gaudreau of Stupid Easy Paleo shares her story, her nutrition advice to women, why she still struggles with the modern fitness industry's messaging, and so much more.
This powerhouse of a woman barely needs an introduction, but in case you aren't one of her nearly quarter of a million Instagram followers or ardent fans, Steph Gaudreau runs a hugely popular food, fitness + mindset blog called Stupid Easy Paleo.
She shares recipes that are based in real food, she's a crazy talented athlete and weightlifter (and coach), and she's the master of mindset shifts that help people "unleash their inner badass so they can change the world".
She also happens to host an awesome podcast, Harder to Kill Radio, where she chats with leaders and innovators in the health + wellness world (and beyond).
(P.S. I was lucky enough to be on her show twice, so if you haven't peeped those episodes yet, definitely do so!)
I am lucky enough to call this stunner a friend, and we got to hang IRL when she flew up to Seattle to get some new images for her biz. We sat in the sun on my front porch and I asked her all about her story, her views on the modern fitness industry, what she's got planned for next year, and more.
Grab a cup of coffee and settle in, and enjoy!
YOUR FITNESS JOURNEY BEGAN WITH TRIATHALONS. CAN YOU TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW YOU GOT FROM ENDURANCE SPORTS TO WEIGHTLIFTING?
It actually all started on a dare in 2011. I was doing an intense season of triathlons (swimming, trail running, mountain biking). I was in Lake Tahoe and exhausted and I stood for a photo, and I remember seeing that photo and thinking, "wow I am so fat". I wasn't in a really good place. My relationship was about to fall apart, I wasn’t happy with my job, and lot of stuff was falling down the tubes.
A month after that, a mountain bike friend dared me to try CrossFit-- and I was like ok sure, I’ll try your "CrossFit" stuff. We did a garage workout with bodyweight and I actually really liked it. It was fast (vs hours of training like I was used to), so my curiosity was piqued. So I joined a gym and did that for a while, doing CF a few times a week and still riding my bike. A year later, I felt really burned out from the endurance stuff, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t hyper focused on losing weight.
For the first time I wasn’t stressed about being smaller and lighter, and it was so, so freeing. That emotional baggage started to go away— I can be strong just to be strong and it doesn’t matter how small my body is? It was awesome. I competed in CF for many years (even went to Regionals with Invictus), until I started to feel burned out again.
I started my business and was still doing competitive training, and the amount of emotional, mental, physical energy that required of me was too much, especially while trying to make this business survive its first year, and I realized I could not do both. Especially being 34-35 years old, I needed more recovery time, and it was just very stressful on the body for me.
So I stepped back into just strength— mostly squatting actually-- but it was a couple year process for me to transition from endurance to weightlifting.
SO SOMEWHERE ALONG THIS JOURNEY YOU FOUND THE PALEO DIET. HOW DID YOU FIND IT, AND WHO WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT TO?
Back in my endurance race days I was training for Vision Quest, which is this 56 mile, off-road race with 12,000 feet of climbing — it's just brutal (it took me 9 hours!). So we’d train and go out and ride and ride and ride.
Some friends of mine said they "wanted to try this thing called 'paleo'” and it sounded crazy to me. Especially since in the endurance world, things like gluten and grains are all you eat— it’s super duper high carb most of the time. And eating tilapia for breakfast? I don’t know about that.
So I decided I’d start after the New Year (this was Nov) and I went big on Christmas and New Years and ate all the things and decided to give Paleo a shot in January. I cleaned out my pantry and fridge and jumped in.
There was a learning curve, but within the first 2 or 3 months I was like wow, I feel major changes in my body (beyond body fat) like digestion and blood sugar, and energy levels , cravings, mood, etc. It all started to resolve itself. And I was hooked.
I think it’s a great starting point for a lot of people to just become aware of their diet of high inflammatory foods and how crappy it can make you feel. Its great to just interrupt your usual habits and routines and have to stop and think about what you’re putting in your mouth. To give yourself a chance to step away from the super processed, highly palatable foods.
I mean these foods are everywhere and so available that making a choice to NOT eat that means that you have to go out of your way. So it can be a lifestyle change, but it I recommend people do it at least for 30 to 90 days just to feel better. I know everyone wants weight loss but honestly, I feel most people would trade feeling freaking awesome when they wake up, having steady energy through the day, getting rid of their (oftentimes embarrassing) digestive problems, feeling clear headed, etc. That’s what keeps people going, and that’s the selling point.
FOR WOMEN SPECIFICALLY, WHETHER THEY'RE PALEO OR NOT, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE BIG PITFALLS YOU SEE WOMEN STRUGGLING WITH IN THEIR DIET THESE DAYS?
One is simply not enough caloric intake. The restricting and the tiny portions and the eating like a bird is a big one.
Being wayyy too low on protein is another big one. I know plant based diets are popular, but you can still eat more plants by volume, and eat meat, and still have a plant based diet. And plants are super important to a healthy diet, but there's so much media vilifying protein and animal protein these days, and that stuff is SO biased. And it sends the wrong message to women. It’s used as a justification for not eating enough protein, period. That leads to all sorts of problems, but namely eating poor quality carbs and fats in order to feel full, problems with cravings, insatiable appetite, struggles building muscle mass, etc.
And then also people are still so afraid of carbs. We’ve gotten to realize that fats are not the devil— I mean sitting down to a tub of almond butter every night isn’t a great idea-- but we’ve stopped fearing fats. But carbs are still feared.
And I used to fear them too. I read about lower carb being good for body composition, and then I did what a lot of women do, and I took it to the extreme. We think if a little bit is good, then even less is better. So most women have been too low carb for too long.
High level athletes need to be dialed into the details, and I don’t want the average person to think they need to be crazy focused on this stuff, but if we could just check in— did I eat a decent amount of food today? Did I skip a meal? Did I eat enough to support my training?
We think we need to go hard into fitness and diet but our body actually appreciates things happening slower.
YOU ARE OUTSPOKEN IN YOUR DISAPPROVAL OF THE TRENDY NEW MESSAGES OF 'STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY' OR 'STRONG IS THE NEW SEXY'. WHY DOES THIS RUB YOU THE WRONG WAY?
Let’s take "strong is the new sexy". I’m kind of sick of women of being reduced to how sexy they look. What does that say about your worth? And if you’re not sexy, then oh well, too bad. It’s a double standard for women: if you look too good you’re full of yourself, and if you don’t look good enough, then you’re lazy or unlovable.
With "strong is the new skinny", it still puts the emphasis on how big you are. We’re still talking about how big people’s body’s are! It doesn’t say anything about capacity— strength comes in so many shapes and sizes and so many forms, and it this talk still sizes everybody up.
And within that, strong can be so many things: it's your resilience, it’s your metal capacity, it’s your compassion, your ability to go through the crappy things in life and come out the other side. Sometimes it's going really hard and sometimes its slowing down, sometimes it's pushing through and sometimes it's letting go. It’s multi-dimensional.
I don’t hear any guys hashtagging "strong is the new sexy"— in my mind, if a guy’s not willing to go there with that same message, then that’s a problem.
WHAT IS THE BIGGEST WAY YOU STILL SEE THE MAINSTREAM FITNESS + HEALTH INDUSTRY MISLEADING OR LETTING WOMEN DOWN?
I still see this idea of little pink dumbbells... and you can "participate", but don’t overdo it, and BE CAREFUL. When do people tell men to be careful?? The knee jerk reaction to a woman saying, "I’m gonna go get strong", is: don’t hurt yourself. That bugs me.
The whole “bulky” thing is still propagated by the Tracy Andersons out there and I’m over it. So many women say to me they want to be "toned": that means you want to build muscle and lose body fat to have definition.
I heard a startling study that I can’t quite remember but it was something like 45% of women over the age of 55 can’t lift 10 pounds, and that is shocking to me. Mainstream fitness still perpetuates this idea that you just have to move, with no real focus on actually building capacity.
After the age of 40 you start to lose muscle mass every year until you die, and muscle mass is such an important reserve for things like illness, surgery, or stressful events— you need the muscle to get well. We’re not doing a good enough job educating women and men that this stuff is really important to protect you as you get older.
So this "don’t get too bulky" or "don’t lift anything over 5 lbs" is crazy— if it’s too easy, it’s not going you any good. As much as I want to champion for people pursuing whatever fitness they love, I have a hard time turning a blind eye to when people flat out refuse to do any strength training at all. You don’t have to do it every day or replace your sport, but add it in a couple days a week to establish that baseline.
And this happened to me too but it’s funny, once I started CrossFit I got way faster and my endurance improved because I worked on that aspect of my fitness— working on those Type 2 fibers helped me get better in that sport.
Not to mention, when women start to play around with challenging weights, there’s something that changes in your mind and you think, “interesting. I wonder what else I can do”. And I think this can be threatening. It can be threatening in a patriarchal society when women speak up and take up space and get strong, which is certainly part of this “stay small and don’t hurt yourself” idea.
All these play together and just keep women down and tell them they just need to play nice.
Sure the fitness industry has made some progress, but when are we going to reach the people who can’t afford a $250/mo gym membership? When are we going to make things seem more approachable and less intimidating to the people who are scared to try it? We just need more voices who are willing to help women get the education and resources they need.
YOU MENTIONED THAT PHOTO EARLIER THAT MADE YOU THINK, "WOW, I AM SO FAT", AND HOW YOU WERE LIVING IN A NEGATIVE HEADSPACE. WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST TO SOMEONE IN A SIMILAR PLACE, AS A FIRST STEP TO START TO CHANGE THAT MINDSET?
First, I’d say that it’s important that you are ready, and curious, and open. A lot of people in that place are stuck, and just not willing to look beyond their bubble, so first, you need to be willing.
Then I’d look at the people in your life who are living the way you are curious about, and talk to them: What are you doing? What’s your routine? What gym do you go to? How have you found a good life/work balance? Asking people you know and trust is so much more powerful than Yelp or internet strangers.
Then get involved with something outside of yourself. The self help world is all about you -- focus on yourself, grow yourself-- and there’s a delicate tightrope between these two things: if I’m always letting people walk all over me and never take time for self care that’s not good, but if I’m only always inward focused, that’s not good either. And sometimes the more we look at ourselves, the more flaws we see: it’s like a magnifying mirror. You see more flaws the closer you look.
The self love movement is great on many levels, however, just like any tool it can be misused. Find a purpose to align yourself to that is bigger than yourself. When you see the joy you can bring to other people, that is a gift you can’t find anywhere else. It will boost your confidence and mood, and it can change how you feel inside and how you see yourself.
I think of coaching and hearing from clients who have had big wins or transformations, and it’s a feeling you can’t get anywhere else. Get outside your own head and realize there’s a much bigger world out there. When you’re struggling with yourself, this can really give you a sense of pride, and deliver a goodness to you that’s hard to replicate.
YOUR THEME FOR 2017 WAS DARE. HOW DID YOU EMBRACE THAT THEME AND WHAT'S YOUR 2018 THEME?
I hired help for my book proposal after many months of struggling and thinking I can do it by myself -- so daring to ask for help was a big deal. I got outside of my comfort zone a little bit with Jiu-Jitsu and tried something new.
I haven’t nailed down my 2018 theme yet, but it will probably be something like "ownership" — I want to stand in the places that I am powerful and give back. I was at a conference recently, and I shared that I have a fear of success, and the speaker said that a fear of success is a lack of responsibility of the things in your life that you have a gift for.
You have a responsibility to share your gifts with the world. That fear is really being afraid to step into your voice and power. Those people who show up are the people who are in the arena— here I am, this is me, let’s do this.
YOU END YOUR POCAST (HARDER TO KILL RADIO) WITH THIS QUESTION FOR YOUR GUESTS + I'M CURIOUS TO KNOW YOUR RESPONSE: WHAT'S YOUR ADVICE FOR BUILDING A HARDER TO KILL HUMAN?
I’d say trusting yourself and listening to your gut. That manifests in a lot of ways— maybe it’s your career, or your sport. We’re not static, we’re always changing, and being able to tune into whats important to you right now, in this moment, is so valuable. The more we hold onto this concept of who we once were and who we’re 'supposed' to be we, prevent ourselves from living in the moment.
And no one else knows either: no one else outside of me knows who I’m meant to be and what drives me in this point in time. There’s this funny thing that happens in the blogging world where if you change direction people say “oh but no, your’e the blah blah blah person!”— well hold on-- you get to change and evolve, but I have to stay exactly the same?
I’m a real person too, I grow and change and evolve. We have to give ourselves that space to change and to trust those things that’s bubbling up inside you. Yes we all have bills to pay and responsibilities, but if that feeling goes on too long and you ignore it, you begin to feel disempowered and start to look to outside sources to tell you who you are.
The world’s always going to tell you who to be, what to do, what to like, but you’re never going to make everybody happy. You’re going to be criticized anyway, so follow your gut and just do what you want to do. Or Erin Brown says, “you’ll have what I’m serving”. You’re either with me or you’re not, and it’s ok if your’e not.
One day, while we were strolling the local farmer's market here in Seattle, we stumbled across this man who offers poetry on any topic you present him with. I instantly recognized him from this video with Jessamyn Stanley + Cody App, so we stopped and offered the topic, "strength".
It's a little hard to hear but I hope you enjoy this amazing moment!
ALL IMAGES COPYRIGHT TAYLOR GAGE PHOTOGRAPHY 2017
HAIR AND MAKEUP BY KATIE KIHARA
She Thrives Gift Guide December 2017
Some of my favorite things, and almost all women-owned small businesses. Shop small and support these badass chicks!
In lieu of my monthly favorites post, I decided to create a little holiday guide for you of some gifts and products for those people that you're just stumped on. (Or, yourself-- no judging here!)
I also did my best to include mostly small businesses (women-owned if possible), because I know it's as important to you, the tribe, as it is to me to support the people out there hustling and making it happen.
Hope you enjoy my first gift guide!
CLOTHING + ACCESSORIES
SHIRTS ARE BACK! You requested these like crazy so here they are! The pre-order window for these tank tops closes on Saturday the 9th so don't wait!
Purchases of this shirt help support this here lil blog and are guaranteed to make you look and feel like a badass.
THANK YOU ALL for your amazing support!
If you're a CrossFitter, chances are good you've seen this bra swirling around on Instagram or even in your gym. It's designed to pad your collarbones from barbells, but you don't need to be a barbell user to appreciate how damn cute these bras are.
These come in a TON of colors and styles, and the owner, Nicole, also makes leggings and other fun stuff.
I have one and love it!
These days, people wear "busy" like a badge of honor. Thankfully, we have people like Steph who are working against that mainstream idea and encouraging people to take a step back, and unhustle.
This is a great gift for your wellness or health minded friend who always loves new athleisure!
BEAUTY + SKINCARE
This right here is the stuff that got me hooked on the oil cleansing method about 3 years ago. This small business' owner, Cassy, works hard to ensure only the highest quality ingredients goes into her products.
I love the cleansing oil, the face oil, and the myrrhaculous face cream.
Fatco makes lots of different lotions and potions, and would be a welcome gift to anyone on the hunt for some amazing natural skincare!
I had a hard time picking just one product from the Herbivore Botanicals lineup, because they are all so pretty.
This is a Seattle based company that's really expanded recently, and their products are all as clean as they are cute.
Such great stocking stuffers or gifts for office friends!
Who doesn't love when tech + beauty combine forces? This gadget is a soft brush that gently exfoliates your skin and really makes your cleanser next-level effective.
I'm a little late to this one (they've been around for a few years), but I'm impressed nonetheless.
Great for your bestie, mom, or anyone who appreciates a little self care and healthy skin.
P.S. Yes it works with oil cleansers! That's what I do every morning.
These masks are trendy af, and for good reason: they are effective. I love that these come in small sample sizes so that you can gift them (or try them yourself!) without breaking the bank.
Plus you can reuse the jar for travel. Who doesn't love the gift of clear, hydrated skin?
HOME + OFFICE
Ditch the Hallmark and add some style to your cards this year, all while supporting a great local Seattle artist, Abby.
Her work is all hand done, but it doesn't end with cards!
You can also gift your budding entrepreneur friend some logo design work, custom stationary, screen print work and more.
The COMMIT30 Planner
Raise your hand if you're obsessed with planners and all things organization!?
This planner is a stand out because it's entire purpose is to support you hitting your goals. With things like daily action steps, motivational quotes, vision mapping, and more, this is such an awesome asset to anyone who has a vision for 2018.
The owner, Jenny, also just released a fitness-only version of this planner for those Obligers out there who need a little extra help sticking to their plan!
We got this throw as a wedding gift a few years ago and it's been a living room staple ever since.
It's lightweight and adds a beautiful accent to the room, and we love it!
I also spied this cozy, velvety throw and already have my eye on it... this one might be on my list! Bonus: it comes in a zillion colors.
My husband and I got this as a gift last year, and we are completely and totally obsessed. If you ever wished you could text your dog, the technology is basically here.
The features for the Furbo are too long to list here but I highly recommend this to anyone who has a fur baby!
KITCHEN + COOKING
For that person who's always in the kitchen and looking for ways to either make things more interesting, or who appreciates fast + easy meals, these spice blends from Diane Sanfilippo are seriously amazing.
Unique flavor combos, oversized jars, and totally clean ingredients make these stand out. A stocking stuffer with flavor!
And a bottle of beautiful olive oil is never a wrong gift, amirite?
We have an identical board that we use for cheese platters and every time we take it out, we get compliments.
A great gift for the hostess or cook in your life, and at under $30, a total steal!
Ok ok, are you sick of seeing this thing yet? I don't have one yet, but it is on my wishlist this year. The Instant Pot is all the rage right now, and for good reason.
Chicken in 12 minutes, rice in 4, and a slew of other bells and whistles that are guaranteed to make your life easier and tastier.
You probably know someone who would love this, and it's ok if the answer is you. ;)
GYM
Does your gym buddy always complain about needing knee sleeves but never actually gets them? Hook her up with a pair of Exo sleeves, which are my favorite brand of sleeves. These come in handy for all squat variations, but I also use mine as a fail-safe shin protector on rope climbs.
This company is owned by an awesome chick, Sloane, and sells way more than sleeves these days. Go check them out!
Workout Programs for you (and your training partner)
Wanna gift your training partner a workout program that you guys can do together?
It's the best of both worlds! A gift for you, a gift for me, and muscles all around. Here are a few programs (written by some badass women) you might want to check out:
PULL UP QUEEN by Neghar Fonooni
BIGNESS PROJECT by Kourtney Thomas
2018 better WATCH OUT!
Happy shopping, friends!
And remember that if you're in the market for a book or cookbook, or other random things, you can always check out my all-time favorites (read: ride or die, go-to products) and recommendations in my shop tab!
Disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links, which help and allow me to run this blog, so I appreciate your support!
October Favorites: What I'm Loving Right Now
Makeup, blue light blocking glasses, skincare, recent reads + more!
Happy November! Not gonna lie, November might be my favorite month of the year. Not only does it house my birthday (11/11), it also has my favorite holiday: Thanksgiving. And it's month number 11, which is obviously my lucky number. SO all around, I love me some November.
This little round up is some of the things I've been digging lately, and I hope you enjoy! What are YOU loving lately? Leave me a comment and let me know!
CLOTHING + ACCESSORIES
We now have shirts!!! Join the girl gang and grab yourself a new PR shirt before they're gone. Window for pre-order closes this week!
Purchases of this shirt help support this here lil blog and are guaranteed to make you look and feel like a badass.
THANK YOU ALL for your amazing support!
These glasses have been a life saver to me lately. Or more like an eye saver. The looonngg days of staring at a computer screen working have made my eyes not so happy, but these glasses block the blue lights edited by our devices and therefore help cut down strain. They also have a slight magnification, and I don't computer without them.
I have the Turing style in amber toffee.
BEAUTY + HEALTH
I have two products from this makeup collection in here this month because I am beyond obsessed with them. Two of my favorites makeup artists to follow released this collection with Dose of Colors, and this eye shadow palette is a serious standout.
These aren't your run of the mill, boring neutral shades, but instead wildly pigmented, super reflective, dynamic and interesting colors that are amazing any time of year. It's all I reach for when I am doing my makeup these days!
(I think I'm going to have a tutorial video coming soon using this...)
This is the other product from this line that you probably (really) need asap. You know I am a connoisseur of highlights, and this one is GOOD, ladies.
It's not as "sparkly" as some, but allows for a crazy beautiful build up. The golden tones look natural and it just gives you a seriously beautiful glow. Do it!
If you follow me on Snapchat, you know that I have a tendency to take my anxiety out on my skin. I pick at it even though I shouldn't, and let me tell you, THIS little guy is the reason you probably never guessed my dirty little secret.
If I have a blemish, the remains of that spot may last quite a while, living as a dark spot of hyper pigmentation on my face for weeks or months. But this stuff helps it go away SO fast-- it's name is no joke. It brightens dark spots up in only a couple days or week(s) with regular use, and I cannot recommend it enough! It will ALWAYS be in my arsenal.
(I mentioned it in my recent SKINCARE post if you want more of my favorites!)
HOME
Another add to the #shethrivesbookclub!
This was a quick but great read about, you guessed it, obstacles. It dabbles a little in history and philosophy, but there were lots of Aha moments for me in this one, and thought it was impactful.
If you're struggling with some sort of block or perceived limitation, or just want a reminder that you can fucking do the damn thing, this is a great read.
That's it! What are you loving these days? Anything out there I need to try? Let me know in the comments!
And remember that you can always check out my all-time favorites (read: ride or die, go-to products) and recommendations from everything from skincare to cookbooks in my shop tab!
Disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links, which help and allow me to run this blog, so I appreciate your support!
Want More Confidence? Do This.
The secret to giving you a major rush of "fuck yea" and confidence? It's right here.
I gathered up all the loose furniture I could and pushed it into a pile against the door in my motel room in an effort to create a (flimsy) barricade. I was sitting on the bed sobbing. Terrified. Alone. Somewhere in the middle of Appalachia. Just turned 21.
Just that morning, I had gotten in my Nissan Pathfinder, hit play on the epic playlist I created, and left my parent's home in Maine. Where was I headed? The wild west. I had never been to Colorado before, knew of only one distant family friend who maybe lived in Denver (but wasn't really sure where that was?), and I had certainly never been to Vail, which was way up into the mountains, and my ultimate destination.
I had gotten a job at a restaurant there because a few months prior, I had filled out an application just for fun with some friends. We were working at a summer resort on the island of Martha's Vineyard, just off of Cape Cod, and a winter resort (Vail) had sent out a recruiter to find some seasonal workers. My friends decided to go fill out applications and pick up some free branded swag, and then we went on with our day, never expecting it to turn into anything.
Weeks later I had a quick phone interview, got the job after that, and then suddenly things became real. Am I really doing this? I guess I'm moving? I mean I have nothing really holding me here, it could be fun? But then things got REALLY real when I found out that at the last minute that none of my friends would be making this move with me: they were all foreign (Jamaican and Scottish), and did not get approved for their visas.
So. There I was. Moving to a place I had never been and couldn't even point to on a map, where I knew precisely no one, all by myself. I skied once before in high school and hated it. Why was I doing this? I kept thinking of the photo of Vail on that poster she showed us: twinkly lights sparkling at night. Seemed warm and welcoming. I think I'd like it there? Maybe it would work out?
It all seemed like fun and games until I was in that motel room alone, and the weight of this risk hit me like a ton of bricks. I was terrified. WHAT AM I FUCKING DOING?
I managed to get some sleep that night and hit the road again in the morning, and after a couple days of driving, sketchy rest stops and cheap motels, lots of nerves, anxiousness, and many moments of desperate, shaky, fearful, tears, I hit the foothills and began to climb into the Rockies.
My fear melted into absolute astonishment, and then excitement. Being an east coaster, I had never seen anything like these mountains before. I. was. blown. away. The tears kept coming, but now they were of sheer awe.
I made it to Vail, moved into my employee housing (read: dorms), and began the most amazing chapter of my life. I met my best friend in that apartment that night, I met my husband a few months later, and I had the time of my life exploring the Rockies and the great American Southwest. And I even learned how to ski. Suffice it to say: It more than worked out.
So what does this story have to do with confidence, you may be wondering?
This crazy jump out of my comfort zone did something pretty amazing for me, beyond the bff and husband and fun memories.
Looking my terror straight in the eye and saying "I can do this"; feeling the rush of adrenaline as I took the leap; ultimately realizing that yes, I could do that, and I did do that!, gave me CONFIDENCE. I realized that I could rely on myself, that I was capable of making it work, and that I can do scary things.
Now, if you're looking for a boost of confidence, do you have to drop everything and quit your job and move across the country alone? Um, no. (But you could!)
But the thing that is guaranteed to bring you a tingly, thrilling, major boost of "fuck yeah", is getting out of your comfort zone in ANY. WAY. AT. ALL.
I've felt the same rush and boost from moving cross country solo, as facing intimidating things in the gym, or speaking up when I was nervous, taking my shirt off during a workout, doing my first Facebook Live to my audience, or taking even the smallest steps into uncomfortable territory. Usually the places that we are most insecure in our life are the ones where we can benefit the most from pushing our own (self-imposed) boundaries. But if you're not quite there yet, here's some great news: this fear-facing has a spillover effect into every area of life.
No matter where or how you step up and push your boundaries, you'll soon find yourself emboldened in other areas of life. Facing your fear of showing up to the gym in stretchy pants in all your jiggly glory can make you a gillion percent more likely to use your voice in your next meeting, or try something else that's new and scary. It's just science.
Cuz here's the truth: CONFIDENCE IS AN EXERCISE. And the more you practice it, the better at it you'll become.
The sheer act of taking a risk, or being vulnerable, or facing the scary thing right in the eyes, and making it out the other side alive is invigorating. This is the space in which confidence, a belief in yourself, and the ultimate trust of your own capabilities, is built.
Action inspires feeling, not the other way around. Do something that takes courage, and you'll feel courageous. Ya dig?
Years ago, I wouldn't have been caught dead in this. Lots of small moments practicing confidence later, and here we are.
If you want more confidence, you've got to get uncomfortable. Or as Brene Brown says, "you can't get to courage without walking through vulnerability".
To be clear: it's not about not having the fear. It's having the fear and doing it anyway. There's nothing in the entire world that's even CLOSE to that rush: it's the most fulfilling and exhilarating feeling you can have. Because it reminds you of your immeasurable strength, and all the real possibilities for you in this life.
And remember that even though major moves and actions are sure to do the job, small steps can be just as impactful. One small thing gives you a boost to face another small thing, and the cycle continues, and it adds up. Action inspires feeling. Every time you do something a little scary, you realize, oh, that wasn't nearly as bad as you had imagined it would be, and the next time becomes that much easier. And that's how we get there.
(Note: yes, there are more roads to Confidence Land than just this, but I still encourage you to try it).
And if you're still consumed with fear and the possibility of "failure", you need to understand that even if your risk doesn't work out the way you thought it would, you will STILL get the benefits of taking the risk in the first place. But this time, with an added bonus: more knowledge and information to carry forward into your next adventure. You faced a gamble, you bet on yourself, you learned something, and you probably got a great story to boot. How rad is that?
(Betting on yourself and trusting your gut is Step #5 in the Five Steps to Becoming Unfuckwithable. Definitely read or revisit this post for a good reminder!)
So. If you've found yourself in envy of those women who don't care what others think, wear what they want, take risks, aren't afraid to speak up, or generally just carry themselves with confidence, know that the thing that most likely got them there was gently pushing the boundaries of their own comfort zone, and then using that momentum to push it again even further, until it wasn't scary anymore.
And hey woah! Don't get sucked into thinking of course it's easy for her to wear that because of her "perfect" body, or some version of 'she doesn't have insecurities or fears'. We ALL have the narratives in our heads and our own inner critic (and sometimes external voices as well!) telling us we can't or we shouldn't or we're not ready or not worthy in some way or another. The difference lies in how we respond to those stories. Are you letting it define you and keep you in a place of fear and limits? Or are you going to look it in the face and challenge it to a match?
And you? Yes. You can do that. I challenge you to find a way to do one thing TODAY that scares the shit out of you. And I'm not talking about just finding something terrible and suffering through it for the sake of toughening yourself up. I'm talking about the things that you've always wanted to do, but have never felt brave enough, ready enough, worthy enough or strong enough to take on or try.
Don't wait for the opportunity, and sure as shit don't wait until you're ready. (You'll never be ready).
Take action and get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and watch your belief in yourself, your abilities, your adaptability and your strength grow into confidence.
Thoughts on Being My Own Biggest Obstacle + Finding My Power
Getting in your own way? Don't have it all figured out? Learning how to do it all? Same.
“I am writing an instruction manual on how to find yourself when you are both the search party and the sea.” -Tyler Kent White.
I can be my own biggest obstacle. I can be quick to judge, I can be quicker to react. I sometimes worry too much what other people may think, and I can get lost in the narratives swimming in my own head. I can be brash, emotional, highly sensitive and take things far too personally. I can be bull headed and insecure and slow to forgive. Positivity doesn’t come naturally to me, I default to cynicism and distance. I can take out feelings of stress or fear on those around me. I don’t always practice what I preach.
But within this sea of turbulence and distress, I am learning to shine a search light of peace. I’ve never been afraid to speak up, but I’m learning to pick my battles. I’ll always feel things deeply, but I’m practicing how to let the things go that do not serve me. I feel my strongest when I’m lifting others up, but know I can do it better. And I need to learn how to do it for myself. I will always cherish my alone time, but I’m distinguishing refuel from withdrawal.
I’m the teacher and the student, and I am weakness and strength. I am messy and imperfect, a paradoxical contradiction, and my own biggest obstacle. I am the search party and the sea, and some days I am more one than I am the other.
This swirling, winding, scary, and oftentimes maddening pursuit of illuminating the path to my own strength and getting out of my own way isn’t easy, and it will never go perfectly. But I’d rather be out exploring, struggling and swimming in the wild unknown, than tucked away in a safe harbor, never knowing my true power.
This was originally posted on my She Thrives Instagram account. Be sure to add me there for daily mini blogs, @shethrivesblog.
A Social Media Detox Guide: How to Internet When Everything Sucks
Social media sucks sometimes. Like, a lot. I mean yes it's amazing in so many ways (we wouldn't be able to connect if it weren't for social media, btw), but I think we're all familiar with how quickly it can turn to awesome to... awful.
It can be a struggle on lots of different levels. As a business owner, it's beyond frustrating to not have your audience actually see the content your working your buns off to create. It can be hard when you see the work you poured your heart and soul and endless hours into, launch to crickets; while a random meme or silly post gets a million likes and shares. And between me and you, it can also be disheartening to see other pages grow to hundreds of thousands of followers while they put out butt photos paired with "inspirational quotes", or don't offer real value in any way, while the pages who are working hard on thoughtful content get left in the dust. It's pretty tough to not play the comparison game, even a little.
It's also no secret to anyone that scrolling is a total time suck. I read recently that we check our phones upwards of 150 times a day. A DAY! What we're always looking for in there, I don't know. But I do know that the more we scroll, the less connected we actually feel to real humans in our real life.
And then, there's the actual news in our news feeds. Lately, we have just been inundated with awful story after terrible story after heartbreaking news, and it often leaves us feeling angry, sad, frustrated, or worse: ambivalent.
I've spent some time talking about social media struggles before, and most recently on this dichotomy of identity: how social media allows us to find our tribe (which is amazing), but how it also tend to split things into black and white. You're either on this side or that side, and there's no room for the actual nuance of the human experience. Let alone, calm, respectful conversation.
I've been really feeling the pull of all of this negativity lately and so I wanted to share some tips with you (and also to remind myself, let's be real) about how to get out of the social media suckfest when it starts taking hold.
1. Set boundaries. (If you have #fomo, remember social media will always be there, and you're not seeing posts in real time anymore anyway, so what are you really missing?) Some ideas:
- Turn off all notifications so that you're not pulled in by every ping all day long. Decide on check in times throughout the day and stick to them.
- Leave your phone at home/in your car while you're in the gym.
- No screens in the bedroom.
- Leave your phone in your purse and put it in the backseat while driving.
- Designate check in times and/or no-phone-allowed times and honor them.
2. Unfollow. You're in control of what media you consume (for the most part). While it's always great to be exposed to people with different views, in order to have thoughtful conversations that expand our horizons and get us out of what can definitely be an echo chamber at times, there's a fine line between positively challenging concepts and dialogues, and pure garbage that does. not. serve you. I challenge you to go into your feed right now and unfollow 10 people who leave you feeling defeated or less than, every time. Be selective and find the people who lift you up, push you forward, and make you feel empowered to take action IRL.
3. Focus on you. Ever notice how you're more susceptible to feeling insecure about something, when it's something you're insecure about? If you're getting sucked into the comparison game, whether that's in business, body, success or other areas, it's time to help these insecurities in a real way. (Not seeing what everyone else is doing about them). Get in touch with and support yourself with these strategies:
- Read. Replace your scrolling time with self improvement time. How can you get more in touch with yourself? How can you improve your relationships with those around you? What do you want to learn more about? How can you be a bigger, more complex human? Some of my favorite books to create positive growth are The Happiness Project and Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin, Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, and Loving What Is by Byron Katie.
- Move. Physical activity does so much (duh), but the rush of endorphins can often be enough to snap you out of funk all on it's own. Find something that is challenging or zen enough so that you are forced to be in the moment and let everything else fall away around you. Focus in on how your body feels in these moments, and be grateful you have this ability.
- Create. What wells of creativity can you tap into? Do you love to cook, write, paint, take photos? (And if this sends you into a comparison game all on it's own, I encourage you to go back to step 1 and read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and/or Daring Greatly. Share your magic with the world, it needs it more than ever.
- Hang IRL. Social media is slippery little minx because it gives us this illusion of connectivity but without any of the real benefits. Humans need social connection; we are just wired this way. If you're slacking on the in-real-life connection time with your friends, your partner, your mom, or literally anyone who you love and who supports you, it's time to pick up the phone and make a date to make that happen. (Or literally just talk on the phone. It's better than scrolling, I promise). Bonus points if you hang outside somewhere. Go for a walk, get some sun, get in the nature. Small acts of kindness for others IRL can go a long way in spreading good vibes and helping you feel better, simultaneously.
- Ask for help. No matter what's bringing you down (the news, your own feelings about things, or anything else), you don't have to go it alone. As Melissa Hartwig says, when you have moments of courage, tell on yourself. Meaning, share your feelings with a friend, because shame cannot survive being spoken. Don't be afraid to speak up or have a difficult conversation.
4. Take action. While focusing on you is always a noble endeavor, it can help to get outside of ourselves and minds and actually DO something. If you are looking for motivation, put the fucking phone down (your motivation isn't in there, no matter what #motivationmonday might have you believe). Motivation comes from taking action, NOT the other way around. What's one small thing you can do RIGHT NOW that will be a small step in the direction you want to go or make an impact on what's important to you? It doesn't need to be a sweeping overhaul, it can be one. tiny. step. Just do something.
5. Shut it down. Now I realize that for those of us who run an online business, this isn't always possible. You can't just shut off your phone for 2 weeks at any given moment. But, there might be some ways to create workarounds. Due to the scheduling feature that every app (except for IG) has, you can spend some extra time up front getting a bunch of your posts ready to go, so that you can carve out a whole day or a whole weekend where you don't log in even once. And if you have the ability to do this at any given time, try it. I deleted Instagram off my phone for a week this summer and it was the most incredible thing I could have done for my mental health. I wrote all about it here.
6. Share your light. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the stuff you're seeing in the news, know that it's ok to feel sadness or grief or anger. Let these feelings sit with you and embrace them. Then, decide how you want to move forward. My best suggestion is this:
- Channel that energy and create something. Put your voice out there, connect with someone else, share your story, spread your magic. It might seem insignificant, but it's not. The world needs you right now.
- Get involved. Similar to #5, but in a more community focused way. Take action in a way that matters to you. Donate money, or better yet, time, or find a way to help make an impact. The little things go a long way, so don't be discouraged that you're just one person. Again, the world needs you right now.
And above all else, remember this:
What you see in your feed is the polished, edited, filtered, best-of, highlight reel. Do not compare your behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. It might look like they have their shit together and figured out, but let me tell you right now: no one has their shit together. We are all just figuring it out as we go. Have patience with yourself.
And most importantly, your worth as a woman, entrepreneur, mom, exerciser, and overall human being does not lie in your likes per photo or your follower count. Remember what's important in this world and let the numbers go.
Social media can be an incredible thing, and it can (and has!) done so much good. Try to remember to use it as a tool to help better the world and yourself, and don't let the rest get you down.
xo,
Taylor
The 4 Biggest Health + Fitness Myths You Need to Stop Believing Right Now
It’s no surprise to anyone that the health and fitness world is one with LOTS of noise. The problems in this industry range far and wide, from old science and just BAD information, to assaulting you with you with “shoulds” every minute of every day, to preying on your own insecurities to make you feel guilty or ashamed of your body or your lifestyle. As such, there’s A LOT of things I could rant on here (and I tend to address some of these points in most of my posts here on this blog), but today I wanted to focus on the following four, as these misconceptions can leave us feeling broken, hungry, frustrated or, at worst, sick. And notably, all of these are coming from industry leaders.
Because even as most of us become more knowledgable, more confident, and more aware of the fitness and nutrition industry nonsense machine, a few messages still seem to be getting through that I wish my readers (and everyone!) would stop believing.
And of course, all of these could be their own post (or book!), so I’m touching on the most important points briefly. You ready? Here goes.
#1: EAT LESS, MOVE MORE
This one can be confusing, because not only is it age old advice that we’ve all heard in some capacity a million times over from doctors and nutritionists and magazines and even our coaches or trainers, but it CAN actually work for some people.
For some folks, all they need to do to change their health, body and life is to begin to move more, and mind what they're eating; usually dropping their daily caloric intake and going for a run. These people are usually severely overweight, untrained, sedentary, or otherwise totally new to their own health journey. As such, this advice can be impactful for this population, at least for some period of time.
However, if you have been training for a while, are a regular exerciser or a regular intense exerciser (hello, CrossFitters!), this strategy simply does not work. At some point, being on a severe caloric deficit actually begins to work AGAINST you, and if you’re trying to fix it by training even more and eating even less, you will not only feel it in the gym and in your overall energy levels, but you'll probably see it on your waistline too.
The path to a hard body, a healthy gut and a happy mind is paved with smart training and sufficient fuel. Not lettuce for dinner and 3 hours of cardio. In fact, spending hours on end at low or moderate intensity (jogging, etc) can also be working against you. Want to get lean and strong? Ditch the cardio and pick up the weights. And eat to support your training.
Eating more can be a scary thing for a lot of women, because the industry has told us it's wrong or bad. The best place to start to ensure you’re eating enough to support your muscle, fat loss efforts, energy levels and overall health and well being? Enough carbs and adequate protein. (And no, I don’t just mean 2 eggs for breakfast and a yogurt snack pack). This leads us into myth #2.
More reading on this topic:
Cardio vs strength training: which is better for fat loss?
Why eating less is sabotaging your weight loss efforts
Watch: How eating MORE can get you closer to your goals
#2: YOUR BODY CAN ONLY ABSORB 20-30G OF PROTEIN PER SITTING
Years and years ago, there used to be a concept swirling around in the nutrition world that said that a human body can only absorb 20-30g of protein in one sitting, and all protein consumed beyond this point would either go to waste or be stored as fat. These days, this is widely understood to be a myth (any quick Google could tell you that— this topic is WELL researched, with many definitive studies), but yet I STILL see it being perpetuated in some circles. This can be especially misleading and confusing for those who are trying their darnedest to up their protein intake and properly address myth #1. You're eating too much, you need to eat more. You need more protein, you're eating too much protein.. So, let’s talk.
First of all we need to remember that protein does a hell of a lot more than just support our gainz. Studies have shown that 20-30g of protein seems to be the amount that tends to be used towards protein synthesis, or muscle repair and building, and about how much we absorb at any given time. But just because we don't absorb it ALL AT ONCE doesn't mean it doesn't eventually get absorbed and used! Our body’s use for protein does not begin and end with muscle building. And most studies on this topic have shown that upward of 90% of the protein you eat, eventually gets absorbed and gets put to good use in one way or another.
(But on the topic of muscle building, studies on intermittent fasting and protein consumption have shown that consuming an entire day’s worth of protein in a short window did not negatively impact muscle retention and growth, which further shows us that protein absorption was not hindered by high intake all at once).
And evolutionarily speaking, how could that really make sense? When our primal ancestors hunted and feasted on a rare animal protein, do you think their bodies simply stopped absorbing more than a neat little 3 oz serving at one time? Um, no. As Mark Sisson puts it, "Digestion takes a long time, and it’s not a segmented procession of different meals through the gastrointestinal tract. Food isn’t separated into 'meals' in your stomach. It’s just all food, all mashed together. If you still have breakfast in your stomach when your lunch enters the picture, lunch and breakfast will meet and mingle."
Now, I will say there's a variability element to consider here. For example, a petite, 5’ 2” 100 pound sedentary woman might not absorb and utilize the exact same amount as a 250 lb, 6’ 4” strongman competitor or linebacker, because your body will absorb and use what it NEEDS— it doesn’t just stop at some arbitrary number or "meal". (And how much do you really need? That's a huge source of confusion, too. But no. it's NOT the RDA, and no, you're not getting enough. Read this & the links below).
Other factors, like your protein sources and your body’s levels of micronutrients like zinc (along with anti-nutrients like lectin and phytate) also play a role in absorption. And wild excess CAN start to work against some bodies at some point, just like anything else (we’re talking WILD excess though).
The research and science is clear here. So can we put this myth to rest already? Your body will use ANY amount of protein you feed it in a sitting, somehow, someway, so always be sure you're getting enough.
Read more on this topic:
How much protein should I be eating?
The benefits of a high protein diet
Why protein is so important beyond muscle growth
#3: PLANT BASED IS THE HEALTHIEST DIET
So I do want to preface this section with this: I am a firm supporter of the Do You Boo system. Meaning, if plant based makes you feel fucking radiant, then do it. I also realize that some people choose this eating style for a variety of reasons, like simple taste or texture preference, and I understand that. This is mostly for those who feel like they NEED to be plant based in order to be healthier.
If you are opting to go without any animal products (or animal protein) simply based on the claim that this is the superior diet for ultimate health, I encourage you do some more reading on this topic.
(And there’s no denying the health benefits of plants here— I’m NOT suggesting you stop eating veggies! We must make sure we are getting adequate greens and micronutrients in a large variety and volume on a daily basis for our health, period. But if we stop there, we are coming up short.)
Because there's SO MUCH to unpack in this topic, and the rabbit holes run DEEP down every single argument to this claim, I decided to just offer some extra reading for you here, if you're interested. Again, do what makes YOU feel BEST.
But I do want to say this, as it builds off out last 2 myths: If you are attempting to sustain yourself on solely plant based protein sources, man alive have you got your work cut out for you. Adding hemp seeds to your salad just isn’t going to cut it. If getting TRUE adequate protein while eating chicken breast and steak is a lot of work, can you image how hard it is to get there with seeds and grains alone? (Which, btw, aren't protein sources, they are fat and carb sources, respectively, with a little protein).
And while there are some legit plant based protein sources, most of the popular ones actually work against internal health: namely things like soy, grains and legumes.
There is no one diet that is perfect for everyone and I encourage you to experiment with everything to find what works for you, but if you're feeling pressure and think "plant based is the only route to health", you need to know that this concept is simply false.
Read more on this topic:
Plant based protein vs animal protein
Why quality of animal protein matters
More protein, better protein, from an RD
What about sustainability and ethical considerations?
What about that popular new Netflix flick?
How do herbivores get so muscular then?
Also see: any book from my favorites shop
#4: NO PAIN, NO GAIN. WHAT'S A "REST DAY"?
Lastly, we have another popular belief that drives me crazy to see, especially as a coach! Closely related to the first myth, "move more, eat less", this idea that you have to push your body to it’s absolute limits to either see results, be healthy or fit, or that rest days are for the weak, is not only misleading and wrong, but downright dangerous.
More is NOT better. The concept of “minimal effective dose” is an important one to keep in mind when it comes to intense exercise. Meaning, while movement and pushing your limits is great for your body and mind and health, it can absolutely be taken too far. Getting in the minimum effective dose (one that brings you fitness and health and mental clarity and makes you better) is essential, but taking it beyond that starts to erode a few very important systems-- and ultimately, your health.
Because at the end of the day, what your body sees this as, is STRESS. Your body doesn’t know the difference between stress from work, from that fight with your partner, from that one rep max back squat, from that epic to do list, and that half marathon you ran last weekend. It all gets processed the same.
This doesn’t just make us feel tired-- it actually sets off a “cascade of biochemical responses that can cause serious damage to one’s health in both the short and long term”, as Chris Kresser puts it.
This idea of bragging about “no rest days” or pushing our bodies so hard we get ill makes me CRINGE. It is not cool, not “hard core” or disciplined or impressive, and most certainly not a healthy relationship to exercise. If you are feeling like you are addicted to your training (or stimulus); if you struggle to take a rest day; if you're training like a pro but you're not a pro; if the thought of going a week or 2 months without your exercise of choice sends you into a panic; then you really need to take a long, hard look here.
Movement is so important to health, and I believe firmly in the benefits of a tough, physical challenge and regular exercise. But there's a fine line between training hard and overtraining, or even exercise addiction. How many rest days are you taking and how often (not "active recovery"). How much and how well are you sleeping? Are you allowing for quieter seasons or pushing hard 24/7?
It's important to know the distinction between pushing hard and muscle burn/fatigue, vs a real injury or pushing too far to stay safe and illness/injury free. And you must be recovering JUST as hard as you're training if you intend to see any lasting results from your hard work.
And it's always a good idea to take an honest look at our relationship to exercise, and ask ourselves if it's truly serving us with how we are using it.
More reading on this topic:
The three stages of overtraining
Why you may need to exercise less
Embracing the seasons of your fitness journey
TO SUM UP:
Ditch the hamster wheel and pick up some weights. Eat! Be sure you're getting enough fuel to support your training and build strong bones and lean muscles, especially protein. And yes your body will absorb and use it all, so don't skimp. Don’t be pressured into thinking that plant based is superior to omnivorous diets-- while it's not for everyone, eating high quality animal products and protein IS part of a healthy diet. Train with intensity, not intense volume, and be sure it’s fun. Four hours of cardio every day is not effective and likely woking against you in myriad ways. Rest and recovery is JUST as important as your exercise, and should come at a 1:1 ratio. And, don't fear the slower seasons. More isn't better. Better is better.
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September Favorites: What I'm Loving Right Now
October is here and I can't even believe it, but as an introvert I'm always down for more cozy evenings snuggled with my pups watching Friends.. and October is the perfect time to do just that. I've rounded up some of the things I've been loving lately. What are YOU loving? Leave me a comment and let me know what I need to try!
GYM
When a great program comes along, I gotta share it (and also #supportstrongwomen). If you want to become a beast at pull ups, Pull Up Queen will get you there.
Three different levels of programming, videos, resources and lots more.
Pull ups here you come!
CLOTHING & ACCESSORIES
Whenever I wear these sunnies on Snapchat I get tons of questions about them!
These oversized aviators and come in tons of colors (of which I have a couple), but my favorites is the black fade color.
Perfect for autumn days and big chunky scarves and PSLs (if that's what you're into).
BEAUTY & HEALTH
With the weather getting a little dryer (and the heat starting to come on!), this is one of my very few haircare products that I use (and love).
I spray this all over my damp hair after showering, and then brush it through and air dry. It noticeably makes my hair softer, smoother, more manageable and shinier. It's super lightweight and also smells delicious.
I also spray this on my hair after blowdrying (which I rarely do) as it gives everything a healthy, shiny sheen.
You guys. This was recommended to me by my naturopath to help my severe menstrual cramping, and to be honest, when she prescribed this I didn't have a lot of faith in it's potential effectiveness.
Nothing has ever been more effective at making my cramps go from near-tears can't-leave-the-house I-feel-like-I'm-gonna-vom is-this-actually-normal-tho to, these cramps are sort of annoying.
Consult your physician if this is right for you, but this shit has changed my life. I take one every day and then up my dose during PMS.
FOOD & KITCHEN
If you follow me on the socials you KNOW how obsessed I am with this stuff!
I've already gotten a ton of messages from you guys saying you got it too and LOVE it. It's seriously so good. What do I put it on? Oh just EVERYTHING.
It appears to be a PNW brand, but you can also order online (and honestly the prices are better online anyway somehow?)
Just do it and thank me later, k.
Fall is here! If you don't have a slow cooker (or yours is tiny/old/broken/in need of an upgrade), may I suggest this beauty?
We got an All-Clad slow cooker a couple years ago and LOVE it. It was such an upgrade from what we were using, and I think the best part is the insert can go right onto the stove top for browning.
If you're looking for the easiest way to make healthy AF meals in large quantities, this is it, fam.
That's it! What are you loving these days? Anything out there I need to try? Let me know in the comments!
And remember that you can always check out my all-time favorites (read: ride or die, go-to products) and recommendations from everything from skincare to cookbooks in my shop tab!
Disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links, which help and allow me to run this blog, so I appreciate your support!
My Skincare Routine
You asked for it, so here it is! My current daily skincare routine. Now I do want to note that I love collecting, sampling, and playing with skincare and beauty stuff (seriously, it's always been a hobby), so if it seems like there's a lot here, that's why.
I tried to keep things down to basic, every day products, but also included some of the products I use occasionally or to treat a specific issue. (And the pic above is the actual shelf of everything in my toolbox. #shelfie)
So, let's get into it!
MORNING ROUTINE
I have been using the oil cleansing method for years now, and loving it. (Actually, I use oils for the majority of my skincare, and it has actually normalized my oily skin, instead of making it more oily).
My current favorite oil cleanser is this one from Juice Beauty. (I also used this "paleo friendly" oil cleanser from FATCO for many years and still love it, if you wanted another recommendation). I use about one pump onto my dry hands and then rub it on my dry face, and then take my trusty Clarisonic to continue to massage it in.
Then I use a warm, damp washcloth to wipe it off, and voila! Clean, happy skin.
I follow up with the Age Defy Serum from Juice Beauty, and put a few drops all over my face, neck and chest, and let that dry and soak in as much as I can.
Then I go in with my daily moisturizer: The Ultimate Miracle Worker from Philosophy. It keeps my face hydrated all day without being greasy, it has SPF and helps fight against sun damage and wrinkles.
NIGHT TIME ROUTINE
If it's a normal day and I don't have much makeup on at the end of the day, I start my nighttime routine the same way: by pumping the Juice Beauty Cleansing Oil onto my dry hands and rubbing it all over my (dry) face. Sometimes I use the Clarisonic again at night, but usually just go right in with a warm washcloth to wipe the oil off and cleanse. (If I am wearing a full face of makeup, I use a makeup removing towelette all over, first, then cleanse).
About once or twice a week I will use an exfoliator, and I actually combine it with my oil cleanser and put it right onto dry skin as well. I have been loving this exfoliator from Murad.
If I trained that day, I will give my skin a once (or twice) over of this alcohol free toner, on a cotton pad, to just be sure the sweat and grime is off. I'll remove any lingering eye makeup with a quick swipe of the makeup remover towelettes around the eye area, and then start going in with the lotions and potions!
I start with my daily dose of this mandelic acid serum from Vivant Skincare, which I have found has completely stopped any sort of breakouts. I might get a rogue pimple here or there (usually when I'm PMS'ing, TYSM), but it has had a big impact on the regular little breakouts I used to get.
Then I apply my nighttime moisturizer, which I will be honest, I usually switch up. I have 2 or 3 that I alternate between, depending on how my skin is feeling and looking, and what I feel it needs.
This Biossance squalane and vitamin C oil is my standard go to. I'll be honest I just love how glowy my skin looks after putting an oil treatment on it!
I have also used and loved a similar oil, developed by Real Food Liz: the Primal Life Organics C-Ex Vitamin C Oil. This is a high octane vitamin c oil, and is another "paleo friendly" option.
Some nights, when I'm feeling fancy af, I take out the nice stuff and hydrate my skin like it's never been hydrated before. This was actually a gift, but it's seriously amazing and I will be repurchasing it when I run out! (And it lasts forever, because you only need the tinest amount): The Edward Bess Black Sea cream.
I used to fear major hydration because I thought it would only clog my pores and/or make my skin more oily, but hydration is now the name of my game, especially now that I'm in my 30s. (Another favorite ultra hydrating nighttime moisturizer is this one from FATCO)
SPECIAL SAUCE
For those times I have a pimple, dull skin, or dealing with scarring/discoloration (from said pimple), these are the things I reach for to get my skin back in tip top condition in no time.
My hands down, all time favorite, most effective and powerful zit killer is Tea Tree Oil. But I will be sure to tell you: please do your own research on this and test it out, carefully. Some people do not react well to this oil, and even those who tolerate it can be burned by it -- it's potent af. So I moisten the end of a Q-tip with water, then dip it into the oil to dilute it. Then I dab it right onto the zit, and sleep with it on.
If I am dealing with the aftermath of a zit and have some scarring or discoloration, nothin makes that shit go away faster than Murad's Rapid Age Spot Lightening Serum. (I put this on after the Vivant serum and before moisture).
If things are just feeling dull, or if it's been a while, I go in with the Dr. Gross Alpha Beta Peel pads and this stuff is amazing. It can sting, yes, but my skin instantly looks fresh, glowing, radiant, and smooth. Generally I try to use these every other night, but sometimes it's more like once a week or when I remember. But these are AWESOME.
And with about the same regularity as above, I use this Neck Lifting Cream from Juice Beauty- I just rub it all over my neck and chest and actually really do feel like it works. But the bonus is it kind of just feels nice.
Pro tip: no matter what lotions and potions you're putting on your face, always bring it down your neck and even your chest if you can, and rub any excess onto the back of your hands.
That's it! I still plan on doing a video for you guys at some point: maybe some more info on oil cleansing, or maybe talking about my favorite masks? What do you want to know more about?
And don't forget to check out my monthly Favorites series where I always share any other products I'm currently trying and loving!
And of course I always have links to ALL my favorite stuff, from books to supplements to kitchen goods & more in my SHOP page.
What are YOU currently using and loving?! I always love to try new things so let me know what you're into these days!
Note: this blog post may contain affiliate links, which help me run my blog.
In Defense of an Unbalanced Life: Why Somethings Gotta Give
Fitness, sleep, work, family, friends: pick 3. Or maybe more accurately: pick 2. Can we really be the super mom and the CEO and the fittest chick in the gym and the supportive wife + awesome friend, while taking time for self care and recovery, all at the same damn time?
I get asked regularly how I find balance between being a business owner, a wife, pursuing health and fitness, taking time for myself, and more. And it gives me pause every time. Is the idea of a happily balanced life a utopian dream? Is it just an illusion, something we’re told to believe is out there but actually isn’t, like comfortable heels and “one size fits all”?
In my experience, the short answer is yes, it can be done, for some time, for some of us. But the long answer is a little more complex than that.
You see, over the last few months, I’ve been hustling hard. I’ve been building this here lil business and investing all my time, energy, focus and did I say time? into it, to be able to create a product that can change the lives of my readers. I’m so proud of what I created and the work I’ve done, but make no mistake my friends: it came with a steep price tag.
The process of growing my business cost me my ability to spend 2 hours a day in the gym, 5 days a week. It cost me my ability to make interesting, fun meals. It cost me my weekends, my time with friends, and most of my social life. It cost me date nights with my husband. It cost me the ability to kick back, relax and hashtag self care. (What is a "day off" again?)
Because I was (am!) going HARD. And when you’re committed, on a mission, with Eye of the Tiger metaphorically (or literally) playing on repeat in your head while you’re laser focused on a specific, big, goal, this idea of “balance” usually takes a seat. When you’re giving 100% to something in life, you don’t have leftover effort and attention to put into other things. Because, math.
As the saying goes, “Family, friends, work, sleep, fitness: pick 3”. Meaning, for most of us, you cannot have all of these things working in absolute perfect balance in your life, all of the time. (And especially so when you’ve got a big goal lined up in your crosshairs). Can you decide which 2 or 3 you get to focus on on any given day? Absolutely. But can you REALLY have all 5, all at once, in perfect harmony?
Those athletes you see at the CrossFit Games, or those entrepreneurs who are out there building empires? Here's the dirty little secret no one tells you: their life is spent committed to those goals, and they most certainly do not have what you or I would consider "balance", at least in their hustle seasons. Because the bottom line is this: anything worth fighting for and committing to is guaranteed to throw your life’s balance all out of whack.
Sometimes this is an easy sacrifice, and sometimes, not so much. It can be hard to see our friends all go out for dinner and drinks while we’re at home with the baby or working. It can be tough to see ourselves put on some extra lbs or feel like we just can’t hang in the gym anymore.
But here’s why this unbalanced life is ok: these are simply seasons of our life. They come and they go, they ebb and flow, and they are ever changing and always evolving. So when there was a moment recently when I looked in the mirror and stood in shock for a minute and came to terms with the fact that I didn’t recognize the body in the reflection, within seconds, I shrugged and reminded myself that this is temporary. This is simply the season I am in, and the price of pouring 100% into something that isn't the gym means my body's gotten a little softer.
(Side note: even in the seasons that I'm feeling fit and strong and lean, I still appreciate those moments for what they are: fleeting moments. I do not tie my worth to the way I look or my fitness, because the only constants about our bodies is that they change. For more on this concept, read my blog post on Embracing the Seasons of Your Fitness Journey)
I don’t sweat it because there will be a time, not too far from now, when I’ll be able to commit to the gym a little bit more. And when that time comes, I’ll be ready.
I can’t help but think of the CrossFit theory of the sickness-wellness continuum: I am thankful that I’ve had some seasons of commitment where I’ve been able to build my fitness baseline up to a high enough place, where I can essentially take 4 months off of the gym and still be “reasonably fit”. And if you’re not there quite yet, it’s ok, your opportunity will come.
This is also why I do feel that if you have the interest and want to see how far you can push your fitness and your physical body, I'm not going to tell you not to. Try all the things, count and weigh and measure and commit (and enjoy it!), with this VERY IMPORTANT note in mind: it's more than likely a lifestyle you will not be able to sustain forever. And why not? It will throw your life out of balance. Is it worth playing and experimenting with? Heck yes, if that's what you want! But don't expect it to be able to stick around forever, so remember to appreciate it for what it is: an opportunity for a season of growth.
It won't be long until the sands shift and our focus must be placed elsewhere, either out of want or out of need. Staying with 100% intensity in one area of life is surely not sustainable, but I believe it to be necessary, for most of us, at one time or another.
Because this is how goals get accomplished, dreams become reality, and real progress gets made. And if there's one thing I want you to take away from this little blog of mine, it's that you CAN accomplish your goals, and anything is possible. But no matter what Instagram may have you believe, being able to do it ALL, all at once, in perfect, happy harmony, isn't a reality for most of us.
Now: Does every waking moment of your life have to be spent in pursuit of something bigger or better? No, no no. Taking seasons to reflect, accept, embrace, and actually experiment with true balance is just as important as the seasons where we are forging ahead. This is paramount. But in a culture where the pursuit of balance is ever present, and we're told to be searching for it and happily maintaining all of these perfect facets of our life in absolute harmony all the time, I want you to know that being off balance is ok sometimes.
When you have the chance to chase a goal or pursue a dream, appreciate it for what it is: an opportunity, and commit yourself to it, 100%. And don’t be scared of gaining a few pounds, missing out on happy hours, or having life become unbalanced, because you know what? In life, the only thing you can count on is change.
So enjoy the current season of your career, of your fitness, of your relationships, of your personal growth. Accept where you are while you chase the goal on your horizon, even if it's messy. It won’t be long until the winds shift again.
Steph Gaudreau of Stupid Easy Paleo shares her story, her nutrition advice to women, why she still struggles with the modern fitness industry's messaging, and so much more.