Your Body Doesn't Need to Impress You

You know what I think is really cool?

Being super strong and fit AF.

This photo is from a few years ago, when that’s exactly what I was.

I loved the SHIT out of feeling capable as hell: doing things like muscle ups and hitting bigger sets of pull ups and push ups than the boys and being fast and having endurance and being able to pick up heavy ass shit and put it down again over and over and having the muscles to show for it all.

That shit was FUN.

But you know what ELSE is pretty fuckin cool?

To be able to enjoy the shit out of my body NO MATTER what it is or is not currently capable of.

Of being so damn invested in my own path and What Is Here Right Now that “how I compare” isn’t even a thought that floats through my mind.

To be bigger and scale everything and move slow and breathe hard and feel just as powerful and grateful for what I GET TO DO now, as I did a year ago.

THIS IS WHAT I’M SAYIN HERE - It’s cool as fuck to be impressed by all your body can do, and it’s ALSO cool as fuck to not need your body to impress you at all.

I hope you’re celebrating your moments of growth, even if (especially when!) they are completely invisible and wildly unimpressive to everyone else.

Every ounce of work you put into feeling at PEACE with where you are NOW is what’s REALLY fuckin cool.

It will make being the slowest kid in class be JUST AS FUN as being the fastest.

I hope you let yourself feel it.

Cuz I think you’ll really fuckin love it.

Why Your Workout May Be Adding To Your Stress

Feelin like Stressy Stresserton right now?

You may be inadvertently making it worse:

Remember that your body reads your workout as... stress.

It can’t tell the difference between:

the stress of a heavy ass barbell
the stress from a work deadline
the stress of a brutal metcon
the stress from a fight with a loved one
the stress from that upcoming travel
or anything in between.

It’s all the same to that cute temple of yours.

I know you like to use the gym as a “stress reliever”, and while it CAN certainly be that (and some stress is actually GOOD— and obviously movement is, too), and I know that the draw for how “good you’ll feel after” is real, it’s not aaalways your best bet.

So you’re probs wondering, How do I know when to skip the gym?

When in doubt, ask:

Am I taking an already taxed body and mind and piling more shit on it?

Goals, to-do’s, and routines aside, is this the most *healing* option for me at this moment?

In other words, if you’re feeling:
Worn down
Exhausted
Overwhelmed or overstretched
Tired or fatigued
Like you reeeaaallyyy just don’t want to
Like the gym is more of a ‘should’ than an ‘I’d love to’...

...Or if the *idea* of skipping the gym for a while scares you or sends you into a panic/guilt (stress) spiral,

It might be time to take a raincheck, and instead offset all dat stressy stress with restorative movement instead— like yoga, stretching, or walking— or an hour with a book or a friend, or [gasp!] simply nothing at all.

If we’re really moving for HEALTH, stress on stress on stress just isn’t it.

So just an invitation to check in and listen for what you really need, and be sure that your actions are *truly* serving you for where you are right now.

K? K.

Take care of yourself.

Is Self Care Another To-Do For You?

IS SELF CARE ANOTHER TO-DO FOR YOU?

I read recently that when meditation was developed it was not a ‘practice’ necessarily, or a way to achieve. anything at all — it just... was.

So that you could just... be. Period.

But the West and modernization turned it into what it is regarded as now: a practice, an exercise, something on our to-do list, a means to an end.

And the exact details of the history there is beside the point because I think we all know this to be alarmingly true:

We cannot take time to do nothing but EXIST without it being “productive” in some manner.

And honestly, how fucked is that?

We literally have to justify our own experience to SIT. In our bodies. In our lives.

We can’t take 10 minutes to ourselves a day to BE — to reflect, or ponder (the root of ‘meditation’) — without justifying it somehow.

For most of us, the idea of ANY quiet time set aside for connecting to our own damn selves (meditation or otherwise) is racked with:

- GUILT (I should be doing something else)
- FEAR (what will I find in there), and
- SHAME (another thing I’m supposed to do and failing at).

And that just ain’t it, love.

So just in case you needed to hear it:

Your time spent on you does not have to come with a Seal of Productivity.

The guilt you feel is from conditioning, and I invite you to inquire in to where it may be coming from and who that feeling truly benefits.

Your life is not a to-do list. Self care and inner work are not another place for pressure, perfection, performance, or pass/fail.

Your hours are your hours; your days are your days; your life is your life; and you deserve as much of it as you hand to everyone else. More, even.

You’re spending your time on various apps checking in on everyone else’s life — are you checking in on you, too?

I invite you to. Regularly.

And you never need to explain, apologize, justify, or earn it.

Give yourself the gift of balancing all of your DOING with BEING.

No strings attached.

Stop Grading Yourself (This Isn't a Test)

DO YOU DO THIS? An end of the week invitation for you.

If you’re like a lot of the women I work with, this might be a subtle (or not so subtle!) habit of yours.

Let me know if this resonates:

Assigning yourself a rating or grade at the end of the day or week for how GOOD you were.

The main factors that play into this tend to be:

1. How “good” you ate
2. How much you worked out

There’s a laauunnndry list of reasons why this habit is playing you, but the biggest one is that this tends to be a fulcrum of SELF-JUDGEMENT.

One that is partly responsible for making the Taking Care of Yourself walk in the park feel like an endless grueling climb up a mountain made of trash and punishment.

TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY, MIND, SOUL, OR HEALTH IS NOT A PASS/FAIL EVENT.

So if you’re constantly reviewing your food choices and assigning yourself a good/bad label based on your willpower, or feeling like if you didn’t nail it *perfectly* (pass) then you fucked it all the way up (failed), I invite you to stop that shit at once.

Here’s what can be helpful to reflect on INSTEAD, at the end of your day or week:

- What FELT really good to you?
- When did you feel most connected to yourself or your body?
- When did you feel most loving toward yourself?
- What brought you energy or peace?
- When were you the most present?

There is a difference between reflection and judgment.

Stop assigning yourself a rating on your goodness based on your adherence to shitty rules.

Stop assigning yourself a rating on your goodness, PERIOD.

It’s a small but powerful step you can take on your path to food freedom and self acceptance alike.

Does this resonate with you? I invite you to explore these ideas more, and consider working with a COACH to guide you every step of the way. Doors are about to open for She Thrives Academy 2021. Learn more HERE and consider signing up for a consultation. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

Improve Your Mood Instantly, RN

Feeling frustrated with your boss/partner/friend? Annoyed at how that situation played out? Beating yourself up for those choices you made? Feeling down about how far you are from your goals?

No matter what’s got you feeling icky, this tip will help center you back in your power:

Drop the “should” story.

- You know, that thought about what that person *should* have said;
- The way you believe that situation *should* have gone;
- The choices you feel like you *should* have made;
- The place you feel like you *should* be be now.

Yeah. That.

All those opinions about how things aren’t how you think they should be?

That shit is bringing you down. Likely in waayyyyy more ways than you even realize.

These nonstop looping narratives about how you disagree with reality are making whatever feels tough WORSE (among other things).

Learning how to SPOT and subsequently DROP these stories can be one of the most profound practices to help you not only feel better + lighter in the moment, but pave the way to long term inner peace + acceptance.

That’s why it’s on my checklist for ways to help get yourself out of a funk, and I have a podcast all about it!

GO LISTEN for more tips + strategies on this! [ep 82]

My Body Is Not Here To Be Fixed

My body is not here to be fixed.

It’s not here for your entertainment or your pleasure.

It’s not a problem to be solved or a nuisance to be dealt with.

When my crooked spine is visible, when my cellulite is on display, when my belly feels soft or my hips feel wide— these moments do not build walls of shame, though there certainly was a time that they did.

Instead, these moments make me feel alive and present in this skin, and remind me that I am human and this body is mine.

It doesn’t need to be fixed and it doesn’t need approval because it houses my soul just the same, and it’s the only vessel it will ever know.

Your body is not an issue to be addressed, a mistake, a medley of flaws and errors.

It is your home.
It is beautifully human.
And it is yours.

She Thrives Academy can help you reshape your relationship with yourself, your body, and pretty much everything. Enrollment starts soon for the ONLY class of 2021. Get on the waitlist to ensure you get a first crack at securing a spot. There’s nothing to lose.

Holding Space

I used to be made of fire. Hot headed and quick to destroy what hurt me, what I feared, what I didn’t understand. Sharp edged and angry, twisting with fury, cutting through life with the heat of frustration and impatience. Burning, burning.

These days, I move more like water. Purposefully carving, quietly yielding, still forging through. My edges have cooled and my compassion flows deep. Softly, gently.

My fire is still within me, but now it serves me. I burn now with the passion to face the fury instead of fuel it; to lean into it with an unexpected tenderness. A subtle but potent peace that only I can offer, or even perceive.

It may be imperceptible outside these walls, but my landscape has shifted powerfully. All from simply, but steadfastly, holding space for my elemental nature.

Fuck Your "Skinny Jeans”

Do you have a closet full of shit that you’ve been holding onto since you were 18, or from when you were at your leanest, or from before kids, or from some other bygone era?

Have you ever noticed how it makes you feel to stare into an entire room of clothes that don’t fit your current frame, or that you’re uncomfortable in?

Do you resist going shopping when the scale has gone up? Feel like you don’t deserve it? Feel like it’s just temporary and you’ll be back in your old stuff soon? Feel like a closet of too-small clothes is a good “motivator”?

STOP. DOING. THIS. SHIT. TO. YOURSELF.

One of the most underrated and empowering acts of self care you can do:

HONOR YOUR BODY NOW WITH CLOTHES THAT FIT YOU + YOU FEEL GOOD IN.

Here are some ways to get this done:

1. Do a closet clean out. If you haven’t worn it in the last year, if it doesn’t fit, if you feel uncomfortable in it for any reason: donate it. If you don’t have the time for the full closet, start with one drawer or section.

(Yes it’s ok to hold on to timeless pieces, or things with very significant sentimental value, but I want you to be ruthless. DETOX that shit).

2. Treat yoself to some fresh threads that *fit*! This doesn’t (have to) mean dropping beaucoup bucks, but I urge you to get at least *one* staple piece that you’ll wear frequently and feel like a Queen in.

If you’re on a budget, consider selling your old clothes to help fund some new ones.

And please remember:

You NEVER have to “earn” the right to own clothes you feel good in. Treating yourself to a new outfit or hot jeans is not reserved for weight loss.

You DID NOT FAIL if you need to go up a size (or several), like I did today. Bodies change, love. That’s what they do. Nothing about the size of your fucking pants alters the fire in your soul or the light in your laughter or your worthiness on this earth.

I’d rather you only have 2 shirts and one pair of pants that you feel good in than a whole room of shit that’s subtly shaming you.

Take your power back + find a way to honor your body as it is right NOW.

Interested in mastering your mindset? Learn how your an work directly with Taylor in She Thrives Academy.

Why You're Not Hitting Your Goals

Wondering why you keep working your butt off but never seem to achieve your goals?

I recently heard that something like 90% of Americans do not know what they want to accomplish in the next 3-6 months.

While I can’t vouch for the accuracy of that stat, I want to ask: is that true for YOU?

Now, listen. I feel really strongly that it is not necessary to have a huge list of goals that we’re working towards EVERY waking minute.

There is absolutely value in the slow seasons, in the moments of drifting, wandering, reflecting and staying open. This is important.

But also:

Do you know what you want for yourself?

And not in some distant, nebulous, sure-that’d-be-nice way. Do you know specifically what you want in your relationships, your health, your business, your personal growth, your adventure and fun, your future?

It’s one thing to have some far off idea of something you’d kinda like one day, which I think most of us have.

It’s QUITE another thing to have detailed and thoughtful short term goals written out that you are actively working towards with intention more often than not. Which clearly, most of us DON’T have.

How are you ever going to get what you want for yourself if you don’t even have a clear idea of what it looks like? How can you even begin to take the tiniest of steps in the right direction if you haven't explicitly defined what that direction is?

And here’s the kicker: getting specific about your goals doesn’t necessarily mean that you will accomplish or create EXACTLY what you planned. I think we all know that life doesn’t work like that.

But what you WILL gain is the ability to HAVE A SAY in your future. To be able to move with intention and forethought into a life you actually want.

Otherwise, what are we doing? Just going through the motions, hoping one day it’ll all fall into your lap? Or worse, spending your life staying so busy working hard shoveling coal into the engine, while no one is upstairs actually steering the GD ship?

Not being specific about what you want is just one of the THREE BIG REASONS YOU’RE NOT HITTING YOUR GOALS.

For more on this and the other two (major) factors, go listen to episode #44 of the podcast: The Three Main Reasons You're Not Hitting Your Goals.

Give What You Wish to Receive

Give what you wish to receive.

This beautiful little trick is something I first learned from the great photographer Sue Bryce, and here’s why it’s so powerful:

• When you feel as if you are in LACK, you will automatically make decisions in a way that feels protective— but is really just fearful, negative and self-limiting.

• When you’re desperate for something and focusing on how much of it you DON’T have (money, attention, love, support, clients, *anything*), you are living from a place of SCARCITY.

• The idea that there’s not enough to go around, you don’t know when you’ll see it again so you gotta hold on tight, preserve, hoard, and definitely not give ANY away.

Everything gets colder, darker, and lonelier. Your world contracts.

So, when you instead, opt to GIVE that very thing that you don’t even feel like you have to give in the first place, you are pulling yourself into alignment with ABUNDANCE.

And that’s when the clouds part on your small, fearful mindset and everything begins to change.

By giving what you wish to receive, you are challenging the notion that giving away ANY resource puts you in a deficit. It doesn’t.

Because you will begin to GET BACK what you put out. That’s just how it works. It’s science.

And!

You realize that actually, this thing has been out there in gross excess and available to you this WHOLE TIME, your mindset just didn’t let you see that it was yours to get.

Suddenly, your world expands.

For more on this concept, GO LISTEN to Episode 42 of the podcast, SCARCITY VS ABUNDANCE MINDSET. Learn how to see it at play in your life right now, and why it’s so mind bendingly important to become aware of. STAT.

Question - What’s one thing you’re hoarding or holding onto and do not give freely, because you believe there’s not enough to go around? What are you desperately wishing to receive or want more of right now?

Find a way to GIVE that very thing away today.

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